margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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