now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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