she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
