Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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