How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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