I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
