If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
