He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
