Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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