I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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