I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
