I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
