Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.

Fav 3 3250 933
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(703): View more from Virginia

It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...

Fav 8 2241 1959
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(501): View more from Arkansas

As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.

Fav 2 1151 2530
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(303): View more from Colorado

Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.

Fav 18 1280 1950
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(219): View more from Indiana

Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.

Fav 6 4063 1640
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(519): View more from Ontario

you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"

(1-519): View more from Ontario

no way

(519): View more from Ontario

that's when i decided you were gonna be okay

Fav 1 1856 778
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(301): View more from Maryland

This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday

Fav 7 1317 869
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(503): View more from Oregon

Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.

(503): View more from Oregon

Livin the dream

Fav 0 23 22
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(678): View more from Georgia

seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.

Fav 0 32 10
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