His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
