Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
