no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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