Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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