Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
