did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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