Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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