If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
