I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
