well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
