with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
