Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
