I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
