I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
