Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
