somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
