Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
