yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
