dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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