i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
