My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
