i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
