dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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