you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
