Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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