i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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