I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
