her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
