i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just googled if crying burns calories
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
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