Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
