No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
What a dumb baby whore.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
