I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
