if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
