I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Shame - the story of my life.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
