Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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