haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she was so not down for the gang bang
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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