Yo dont text me then not text me
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
